I used to be a super happy bunny, like a freaking ray of sunshine wherever I went. Now I look fucking miserable, and my temperament has just dropped. I used to look sweet and innocent, now I look like some messed up emo.
My parent's died in a car crash, along with my little brother Tom, on their way to pick me up from a party. It had gotten pretty late, and I'd had a biiiit too much to drink, so I rang them and asked if they could pick me up on their way back. I think Tommy had wanted to see something at the cinema, but the only showing was pretty late, but they took him nonetheless.
I will always blame myself for taking advantage of their kindness, and being a selfish little cow by getting that drunk.
There wasn't much of a body to retrieve from the crash, my brother was kept alive for a few moments in hospital, but ultimately he was already braindead from the accident, and if he had survived, there wouldn't be much of a life left for him anyway. Mum and Dad died instantly on impact. I wasn't told the details, but from what I've gathered, a deer or something ran in the way, they swerved, and hit something, maybe a tree? I don't really want to know, but the fact is they're dead and buried, gone.
Now I've been forced to live with my Grandmother, Rosemary and her fat freaking cat, Minnie.
Don't get me wrong, I love my Grandma a lot, but it's just not the same as home, but then again I don't think I can ever call anything home again.
I honestly just live in my room now, occasionally Libby or Nicola come over, but other than that it's pretty lonely. I don't have a boyfriend or anything, and I've never really experienced that to be honest, at this rate it looks like it never will, unless I can find someone willing to put up with my moping. Nan's doing quite well so far, keeping it together and putting up with me, since I barely speak to her. I feel like I should make more of an effort, but I really don't know how to, or want to.
No comments:
Post a Comment